A Big Week - night 2

Well if yesterday was a long day, last night was the longest night.
We have been given a room in Ronald McDonald house (I'll write about that later in the week) and Immi was allowed to stay with us as long as she was back on the ward this morning for 8am.
Well, sleep evaded us. Especially Immi. And keeping the fear and the "what ifs" at bay was hard. We find ourselves watching Zootopia at 2.30am in a bundle. Immi struggles to get to sleep at the best of times and often needs a weighted blanket, this night was even more of a struggle. She wanted to be held really tight, which would have been fine if she hasn't been breathing right in my face! I'm not a night hugger! I need my space, but tonight I didn't care. I was in a really uncomfortable position, but I was holding my baby. Tomorrow held horrible hours in its hands and I would hold her all night if needed.
 In the dark the tears rolled and for the first time in my life I guess I felt a bit of the impending doom that Jesus felt in Gethsemene. Knowing what was to come and asking if there was any way of avoiding it. No wonder he couldn't sleep! It was a scary place. But with it came a recognition....after three days there was new life. It was horrible, the worst thing imaginable but the best came out of it. Renewal. Restoration. New beginnings. There is a verse in psalm 30 that says "tears flow in the night, but joy comes in the morning."  This is my prayer over the next week or so. That thought this crap that Immi is going to go through that joy would break through, that a new freedom and new life would come.