I had already watched some great teaching from LIFE church http://www.lifechurchhome.com/ on my ipad as I drank my coffee in bed, so why bother? I decided to 'bother' as it is in relationship we grow.
Anyone who knows a bit of brain science (sorry - science is my other great passion!) knows that our limbic system is the part that deals with our emotions and we can only experience joy when we get those oxytocins going, and that happens when we are in relationship with others. So, spiritual aspects aside, meeting with a group of people who share the same worldview is great for mental health!
Apart from that, when God's people worship something amazing happens; perspective on life changes and God breaks in. There is a part in the Bible that talks about us being raised up on wings like eagles. It is talking about strengthening, but I believe it is also talking about perspective...being able to see the big picture. Something changes in our thinking when this happens.
Anyway, I start getting Immi out of bed (always a challenge in itself), she had a seizure late last night, so I decide she needs to shower this morning. All goes well despite being at her stop/start pace. We get in the car (a little late by now) and start to drive to church 5 minutes away. Half way there she goes into a dramatic seizure, so I put my hazards on, pull over and hold her. She is wet now, so we drive home - feeling a little dispondent as I had made the effort to battle with the shower speed, get meds in her, get her splint on etc etc. We get back and thankful the same parking space was still available. She was still fitting a little so I ran to unlock the door and went back to the car to support her to the door. As I open the door and lean over to undo her seat belt and almighty gust came along and knocked the car door straight into my fore head....OUCH! It was that kind of pain that draws tears despite yourself. I held my head for a moment with Immi saying "Mummy, are..." FIT "you..." FIT "ok?" FIT. What a pair. I gathered myself and got her to the house and the bathroom, where the tears flowed for both of us.
And if I wasn't a believer, that is where this post would stop. But I am thankful that I have a place to go with the crap, so in that moment Immi and I did church. I messaged a couple of friends to ask them to pray and then we did life with God in the way King David did life with God. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't quiet. We ranted and raved. We told him how it really is and how we don't want it. King David was described as a 'man after God's own heart'. He did things wrong, and wrong was done to him. His life was full of ups and downs, But he was real with God. If you read the Psalms, they are full of David being real with God. And believe me - we both got real! When you are standing, letting it all out to God with your 13 year old telling him how she feels in no uncertain terms - that's real.
So often we have an image of Christianity of being prim and proper and looking neat. NO, NO, NO! That is not life with God. That is not relationship with a heavenly father. That is NOT being a Christian - that is going to church. There is a huge difference.
He doesn't want us all sorted and perfect....we never get there anyway! He just wants our hearts; the pained parts and the joyful parts, he wants to comfort and to celebrate. And above all - which I needed today - He gives a hope and a security that it won't always be this way.
So... my head still hurts. I didn't make it to church to be with others. But I could be sitting in a mess of tears and hopelessness right now. Instead, I choose Jesus, I choose hope, I choose joy.
