Shout out to the siblings...

This post is dedicated solely to my son and to all the siblings that grow up with brothers and sisters who have special needs.   I’m not going to name him (as he is 16 and that would embarrass him) but I want to give a huge great shout out to him. 

Immi’s brother has seen her go from a normal little sister that he spent time with a played with and got into adventures with when they were little to a sister that he (unconsciously I think) started to protect. He has picked her out of pools when she has seized, he has caught her when falling, he has called on us when she was seizing, he consistently takes the dog out, feeds him, walks him, does the poop thing, empties the dishwasher,  vacuums and manages his homework without nagging (although he is very glad he never has to do French again now!) He has held a part time job since he was 14, today was the first time he has ever asked for a lift to school (it was lashing and he had 2 GCSEs) and has always got himself there, he has found his own spiritual home at Discovery Church and gets up and goes without us nagging, he holds his tongue and his fists when Immi lashes out at him and he (in the main) has compassion upon her.  

I think he often feels unseen. He doesn’t say it, but he quietly gets on with things. When we try to give attention there is always another voice, another demand and he just knuckles down and gets on. He finishes GCSEs next Friday and therefore his secondary school (sixth form college in Sept). And I just want to say here, publically. 

I am so proud of him. I don’t care what results day holds, because sensitivity, compassion, care, responsibility aren’t things that can be taught and graded.  Selflessness can’t be learned it is something that we are. And I admire these things in him.   I can’t say it’s down to amazing parenting, we have done what we all do, we have tried our best but we have failed in many ways and I wish many things had been different but I am thankful.

In Daniel 6, Daniel is described as having an excellent spirit. This Hebrew word can also be translated as extraordinary or surpassing. And this is my prayer for him; that he will continue to obtain and retain the excellent spirit he has now. 

....And if you read this my son, I’m sorry for embarrassing you (but only a tiny bit!) xx