I wasn't planning on taking the Masters, I was planning on finishing off my diploma, but due to a number of different validation issues, my past work was examined and, although the faculty thought it would be a large jump up, they invited me to do the Masters course.
I am now labelled (with nearly as many labels as Imogen!) I am an Advanced Standing, Part-time, Independent, Stage two, Masters of Theology Student and I'm not sure I am more than my labels - more like drowning under them!
I am learning a new vocabulary, meeting new theologians, learning how to critically analyse, synthesise and evaluate arguements, how to use the APA referrencing system, how to skim, scan and highlight and realising I don't know nearly enough about the classics or Church History! There seem to be huge gaps in my knowledge of which I am not sure I can plug in the time that I have. I am using all my concentration; reading sentences repeatedly and still struggling to make sense of them. I compose my best synopsis and it sounds childlike and silly next to the example given by another student. Given the task of using footnotes to find sources online, I fail to use the correct title and can't find anything; another student comes to my aid. Is this how Imogen feels each day going into school? Is she madly treading water; desparately trying to keep her head up above the surface? If this is how she has felt daily for the last 5 years of school no wonder she has little motivation for it.
Thankful for the moment of empathy, but I am going to have to learn fast or I will drown!
The irony of this is that I am working in order to simply get another label!! Or am I? What I really am hoping is that along the way I will have opportunities to wrestle with God in the areas of my theology that have been knocked out of place since Imogen became unwell.
I felt like my theology was pretty sound, like a healthy spine and then suddenly something in life happens to challenge that, like a disc being displaced. And like a slipped disc it brings pain and fear(and also doubt). This is my opportunity to realign it all again.
I sincerely hope this is about more than my labels!
